Greetings from Bled, Slovenia

I am at a conference in Bled, Slovenia so I want to take a moment and depart from the usual Tel Aviv posts to say that this is a beautiful place, definitely worth a visit.

Image via Wikipedia

Pictures don't do it justice. I did the row-boat thing in the pic today

Image by StrudelMonkey via

And the Slovenians are wonderful people. I will post some pics I took soon.

Another Office Pet Peeve

First of all, I know it's been a while (SORRY) but it's been a really busy Summer. There's probably no one who reads this blog anymore anyway... :)
So in this installment let me tell you about my latest office pet peeve...
Israeli high-tech employers are really great with providing some sort of food or another - we get breakfast stuff (cheeses, vegetables, bread) and fruit throughout the day. not to mention the bottomless cookie jars, and by bottomless I mean that there are office elves (ok, the Russian Cleaning Lady) who keeps refilling them every time they dip below a certain level). These cookie jars really are the embodiment of evil, but that's a different post.
Anyway - it's the cheese that I have a problem with.
Well, not the cheese.
The Cheese containers.
Well, not the cheese containers.
The people who do not remove the plastic/nylon covering thing from the cheese containers that is supposed to seal in the freshness until the container is opened.
Because, darlings, once the container is opened for the first time and the seal is broken, this nylon/plastic appendage becomes superfluous (GRE word!).
In the picture above, I just opened a new container of Cottage Cheese (notice the cow-hide design of the container - how cute! it's cheese, it's from cows... get it?).
Anyway, because I just opened a new container, and because there is no point to keeping the seal on it any longer, I COMPLETELY REMOVED IT AND THREW IT AWAY!!!!!! No need to keep it half-dangling from the rim of the container, now is there, office people!??!?!?! Whats the point in that?!
Good, now that we've learned this lesson, go back to dipping your hand in the Cookie jar. Literally. those wafers go like hotcakes.

an open letter to the woman by the water fountain at the gym

Sweetie, we need to talk.
No, really, stop chewing your gum and looking at the mirror while you do your squats, and stop making sure every hair is in place just long enough that we can have this conversation.
When you decide to fill up your 1 liter water bottle at the water fountain and there is a line of people behind you waiting for a sip, it would REALLY REALLY be curteous of you to let someone get a sip because it takes you like half an hour to fill that thing up.
Curteous.
Yes, it's a word, look it up in the dictionary.
It means being nice to someone.
Nice.
Yes, that's a word too.
It means, well, it means not being an asshole to someone.
What's that? Yes.
You CAN put "not" and "asshole" in the same sentence.
there ARE people out there who it can apply to.
Anyway, it would be one thing if you had the bottle openining pointed to the water and were filling it up, but it seems to demand too much motoric skill for you to maintain that position because you keep moving your hand and missing the water, so it takes about 3 times as long to fill up that bottle.
Oh, and when you finish filling up the bottle it seems like you're adding insult to injury when you THEN take a few sips from the fountain while STANDING THERE WITH A LITER OF WATER IN YOUR FUCKING HAND!!!!!
Just thought I'd vent.
Get back to your shameless ogling of yourself in the mirror.
G.

How to tell you're in an Israeli pharmacy

So the other day I happened into an Israeli pharmacy to pick up some medicine and there were two lines - one for those who only needed one to two items, and one line for those who needed more than that. Both lines had numbers going and you needed to get a number to stand in either of the lines - a number from the green machine for the express line or a number from the red machine for the regular line.
I got a number for the express line and went to sit down. It seemed curious to me that there were about 4 people waiting for the express counter, but the number I took was 250 and the number on the board was 205. Where were the 15 people that are supposed to be ahead of me in line?
Anyway, I took my seat and waited. Some people came in after me and got their numbers. Obviously the numbers started flying by on the board, as there were not many people in line. The board was about 3 numbers away from mine when a curious thing happened: A man that had just been served at the regular counter came over to a couple waiting for the express counter and, although they arrived after me, he gave them a green number which was apparently smaller than mine so they got served before me.
Now I am not upset that they got served before me. They were lucky, yay for them. But it did solve the mystery of the missing people.
Apparently people coming into the pharmacy took a number from each of the machines so that they were covered by whichever number showed up first.
This seems to me a very Israeli thing to do, which out of decency I would not have done. It seems rude and wasteful.
On the other hand, maybe I need to learn the system and assimilate into the Borg.
*sigh* one of these days I'll learn....

How to tell you're in an Israeli market

There is an Tel-Aviv equivalent to the immortal 7-11 chain, it is called AM-PM (not the same as AM-PM in th US which is a gas station/convenience store with horrible junk food), it is open 24/7 even on Jewish holidays and I am extremely lucky to live a block away from one, although you can;t really NOT live a block away from one in Tel Aviv as they are as ubiquitous as Starbucks in any major American city.

I walked in the other day to get some Coke Zero and milk (you know, the bare essentials), and realized a very telling difference between Israeli and American shopping.

Let me set the scene: as I walked around the store, got my Coke and my milk, I headed back to the cash register (which had no line) and wanted to place my items on the checkout counter, when lo and behold I realized there was no room to put my stuff on. The reason being that there was a seemingly orphan pile of groceries already on the checkout counter with an AM:PM member card placed on one of the items.

It turns out the items belonged to a man who was still doing his shopping but would get an item and bring it back to the checkout counter and then go out and get the next one.
Why would he do this, I ask you?
was it:
a) there were no little baskets left to carry his things in?
b) he kept thinking he was done shopping but then kept remembering something else?
c) he wanted to solidify his place as first in line even though he was not done shopping, in hopes of saving time and not being the victim of some poor schmuk getting in line before him and checking out with their own groceries, even if he himself had not finished getting his own yet, because then he would be percieved as being a sucker.

My Israeli readers will immediately know the answer to this one.
It is C, of course.
I realize that to an American this would seem like very curious behavior. But to an Israeli reading this I am sure it makes perfect sense.
Thoughts?

A present for Jesus

Did you ever stop to think that when the Second Coming occurs you might want to have a little gift for Jesus? You know, just to shmooze him a little bit in case he thinks you've been a naughty boy.

Well Disney Land has the perfect gift! A personalized Mickey Mouse Keychain just for him:

Cuz I bet even Jesus loves Mickey!!!

The Office V

Have you ever encountered those people who have jars of candy or bowls of chocolate at their desks in their cubicles?
What the hell is up with that?
They're obviously not going to eat all of it, since they would not be able to fit into the chair behind their desk. So one must assume it is meant as some sort of offering for the people around them. One must therefore also question why it is they feel they need to feed the sugar habits and sweet-tooth of their office-mates?
Is it because the were unpopular in high-school/college and attempt to make friends by offering candy? Will no one like them or come talk to them unless they can, at the same time, bite into a Mars bar or a Tootsie Roll?
Is it because they have a sinister hidden plot to make theor colleagues fat so as to feel better about their own lack of positive self image (just for the record, this is why I would do it if I were to do it).
I dunno but it strikes me as unnatural and evil. As it is the cookie jar in the break room is bad enough.