an open letter to the woman by the water fountain at the gym

Sweetie, we need to talk.
No, really, stop chewing your gum and looking at the mirror while you do your squats, and stop making sure every hair is in place just long enough that we can have this conversation.
When you decide to fill up your 1 liter water bottle at the water fountain and there is a line of people behind you waiting for a sip, it would REALLY REALLY be curteous of you to let someone get a sip because it takes you like half an hour to fill that thing up.
Curteous.
Yes, it's a word, look it up in the dictionary.
It means being nice to someone.
Nice.
Yes, that's a word too.
It means, well, it means not being an asshole to someone.
What's that? Yes.
You CAN put "not" and "asshole" in the same sentence.
there ARE people out there who it can apply to.
Anyway, it would be one thing if you had the bottle openining pointed to the water and were filling it up, but it seems to demand too much motoric skill for you to maintain that position because you keep moving your hand and missing the water, so it takes about 3 times as long to fill up that bottle.
Oh, and when you finish filling up the bottle it seems like you're adding insult to injury when you THEN take a few sips from the fountain while STANDING THERE WITH A LITER OF WATER IN YOUR FUCKING HAND!!!!!
Just thought I'd vent.
Get back to your shameless ogling of yourself in the mirror.
G.

How to tell you're in an Israeli pharmacy

So the other day I happened into an Israeli pharmacy to pick up some medicine and there were two lines - one for those who only needed one to two items, and one line for those who needed more than that. Both lines had numbers going and you needed to get a number to stand in either of the lines - a number from the green machine for the express line or a number from the red machine for the regular line.
I got a number for the express line and went to sit down. It seemed curious to me that there were about 4 people waiting for the express counter, but the number I took was 250 and the number on the board was 205. Where were the 15 people that are supposed to be ahead of me in line?
Anyway, I took my seat and waited. Some people came in after me and got their numbers. Obviously the numbers started flying by on the board, as there were not many people in line. The board was about 3 numbers away from mine when a curious thing happened: A man that had just been served at the regular counter came over to a couple waiting for the express counter and, although they arrived after me, he gave them a green number which was apparently smaller than mine so they got served before me.
Now I am not upset that they got served before me. They were lucky, yay for them. But it did solve the mystery of the missing people.
Apparently people coming into the pharmacy took a number from each of the machines so that they were covered by whichever number showed up first.
This seems to me a very Israeli thing to do, which out of decency I would not have done. It seems rude and wasteful.
On the other hand, maybe I need to learn the system and assimilate into the Borg.
*sigh* one of these days I'll learn....